Chapter 75: Self-Suggestion

Chapter 75: Self-Suggestion

East Chester County, inside a manor belonging to the Hall family.

Audrey sat before her dressing table and lit a candle.

Then, through the faintly swaying flame, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her emerald eyes gradually grew deep and secluded, making it difficult to look away, as though even one’s soul might sink into them.

“Audrey, remain lucid in your dream tonight,” she said softly to herself in her beautiful voice.

This was a simple form of psychological suggestion.

The old ballad she had heard at dusk had given her inspiration, causing her to entertain the idea of exploring her own dreams to see whether she could use them to enter the sea of subconsciousness and the sky of spirituality shared by all living beings.

This was an attempt other Psychiatrists had never thought of—or at least, among the reference experiences provided by the Psychology Alchemists, there was nothing similar: suggesting to oneself, exploring one’s own dreams.

Perhaps I can discover traces of the mind dragons there, perhaps even the City of Miracles, Liveseyd… Audrey withdrew her gaze, removed Lie, which had transformed into a ruby necklace, and placed it inside her jewelry box.

She feared that this mystical item, capable of amplifying emotions, might affect her dream self and cause unnecessary harm, so she cautiously dealt with it in advance.

After finishing all this, Audrey subconsciously glanced at herself in the mirror and discovered that her appearance had regained a tiny flaw.

When wearing Lie, she had felt that her own beauty was enough to make even herself fall into fascination.

“Wake up, Audrey. That was only a lie!” She lifted her right hand and gently stroked her cheek.

At that moment, she felt especially glad that she had named the mystical item “Lie,” because it would constantly remind her to stay vigilant. Otherwise, one day she might come to depend on it completely, refusing to face her true self. If she then lost it, she might very well lose control directly.

“For girls with more ordinary looks, once they wear Lie, modify their appearance, and obtain a nearly perfect transformation, perhaps they will never again be willing to take it off. They might prefer death just to preserve that beauty… A corresponding Beyonder also must not possess such a state of mind…” Audrey sighed softly and stood up.

Wearing a smooth silk nightgown, she walked lightly and expectantly through the room, warm as spring, back to the soft, comfortable bed that also gave elastic support. Then she pulled a cord at the bedside.

Her personal maid, Annie, opened the door and entered, moving gently as she extinguished the lights.

It did not take long before Audrey truly fell asleep.

In the hazy, indistinct world, she suddenly shivered and realized that she was dreaming.

With great interest, she looked around, silently muttering to herself:

“So this is what psychology calls a lucid dream?

“There is a similar concept in mysticism as well.

“It really worked. Relying on simple psychological self-suggestion, I successfully entered a lucid dream. Audrey, you really are a genius—no, no, no. This is mainly an application of Beyonder powers. You cannot be proud.”

By then, Audrey had already figured out what her current dream was.

She was walking along a gloomy, narrow road. Around her stood a dark forest, and ahead of her was a castle with towering spires.

From every direction came the drawn-out howl of wolves, the slow and terrifying sound of breathing, and sharp, intermittent screams, brewing a dangerous, oppressive atmosphere.

I still feel afraid because of Duke Negan’s assassination. Afraid that, one day, many Beyonders will suddenly come to attack Father, Mother, and my brothers… Audrey analyzed her own dream from the perspective of a Psychiatrist.

She walked forward slowly, heading through this unusually realistic dream toward the castle that was almost identical to the Hall family’s ancestral home.

As she walked, a figure suddenly sprang from the black forest. It was a dragon covered in golden scales, with pale-golden vertical pupils and a thick, sweeping tail.

The dragon’s facial features were exactly Audrey’s. When paired with its body, it created an indescribably awkward and terrifying sensation!

Audrey was frightened, nearly waking from the dream. Fortunately, having once been a Spectator, she stabilized her emotions in time.

This made her realize that she had never truly forgotten the incident when she had almost lost control after taking the Psychiatrist potion. The self-comfort, self-encouragement, and improvement in mood at the time had merely been superficial. The shadow had already taken root deep in her subconscious, reflecting into her dreams from time to time.

Thank goodness I discovered it today. Later, I can try to treat it within my subconscious. I am a Psychiatrist, after all! If I had kept ignoring this problem, when I advance to Sequence 6, perhaps I might lose control because of this fear… Audrey seriously examined herself.

Walking and stopping, Audrey’s dream changed in discontinuous fragments. As a story, it was unqualified.

At last, she arrived before the castle and saw a magic wand as long as an arm sweep through the air, scattering dazzling specks of brilliance like starlight.

The castle enveloped by that light instantly became splendid. All of its gloom and dimness vanished completely.

From within came the melody of an orchestra, and one gas wall lamp after another lit up.

“This is my earliest and most beautiful expectation toward extraordinary power… Such a little girl’s fantasy…” Audrey’s lips curved, and her mood immediately improved.

She did not linger. Passing beyond the castle, she headed toward the edge of this dream. Behind her, she ignored how the scene changed and how the story unfolded.

After walking for an unknown length of time, she crossed a barren wilderness and arrived atop a cliff.

Looking outward, she saw gray, empty nothingness spreading ahead, while below her was a depth so dark it seemed bottomless.

Audrey clearly recognized that this was the boundary of her dream. Once she left, she had no idea what would happen.

“And how am I supposed to leave? Jump down? Will I fall to my death…” Audrey thought with difficulty, not daring to take such a risk.

After pondering for dozens of seconds, she slowly came up with an idea:

This is a dream. It originates from the world of the mind. As its master, I can rely on my will to open a path for myself!

Holding that thought, she tried to materialize what she imagined, just as she did above the gray fog. The only difference was that, in the latter case, she needed Mr. Fool’s power, whereas now, she had to rely entirely on herself.

Audrey extended her right hand and spread her palm downward, pointing at the gray abyss.

Before her, the grayness suddenly surged, revealing layer after layer of stairs that stretched downward with no visible end.

Audrey slowly inhaled, lifted her skirt slightly, stepped forward, and set foot on the first stair.

She descended step by step. The surroundings grew quieter and quieter, so quiet that auditory hallucinations seemed to arise.

Aside from grayness, there was still only grayness. No object could be seen. Everything was lonely and unknown.

Howling winds blew from constantly changing directions, making Audrey sway. Her fear slowly deepened.

Before her emotions went out of control, a deep yet gentle light flowed through her emerald-green eyes, as if capable of seeing through the human heart.

Audrey used her Psychoanalysis ability to soothe herself!

She continued downward. Dozens of seconds later, a point of light suddenly appeared within the grayness around her.

Audrey looked at it vigilantly and saw, within that light, herself just after taking the potion: the version of herself who had nearly become a dragon monster and had nearly lost control, whose worry, panic, fear, nervousness, and other emotions overflowed completely.

“…This is my subconscious. This is that shadow within me?” Audrey vaguely understood where she had gone after leaving the dream.

She did not rush to resolve this shadow. Filled with expectation, she continued step by step downward.

According to the Psychology Alchemists’ theory, at the bottom of the subconscious was her destination: the sea of collective subconsciousness belonging to all living beings!

During her descent, Audrey saw herself listening to legends from her parents as a child. She saw herself placing great importance on her image while, behind that, not actually being so elegant. She saw herself attending the Tarot Gathering. Only, the light points similar to the latter were all tightly wrapped in gray fog.

These are all things inside my subconscious… They influence my personality and behavior? Audrey instinctively analyzed them with psychological knowledge.

As different points of light flickered, she repeatedly approached the edge of emotional collapse because of this long, lonely exploration without a visible goal. Each time, she used her Beyonder ability to soothe herself in time.

Just as she was close to losing her sense of time’s passage, she saw the final stair.

Ahead of the stair was solid, indistinct, gray “ground.” Above it drifted and swam one light-and-shadow after another. They were dense. They overlapped. They were like an illusory ocean.

The sea of collective subconsciousness… Audrey walked a few steps forward and looked upward. To her surprise, she discovered that the grayness no longer covered her vision, and the high sky was clearly revealed.

There, countless indescribable figures existed. There were seven clear lights of different colors, containing endless knowledge.

Audrey pressed her lips together and said to herself in delight:

“The sky of spirituality.”

Then, she carefully walked forward, beginning her own adventure.

The light-and-shadow that formed the ocean swept past her eyes from time to time. Some contained ancient memories of being burned by flames, while others carried extreme pain from directly seeing something that could not be described.

Aside from imprints from ancient times and from the earliest ancestors, Audrey also saw one admiring gaze after another directed at herself. She saw folk ceremonies that worshiped dragons.

As she walked, she noticed a grayish-white peak in the distance to her left. It stretched upward, piercing through the ocean formed by light-and-shadow. Its summit was shrouded in mist, clear yet bewildering.

Is that another person’s consciousness? What is inside the ocean is the subconscious, and what rises above the sea is normal consciousness? Hm… He is dreaming… Audrey suddenly thought of a possible technique for Psychiatrists: to approach, climb upward, and directly influence the thoughts within another person’s subconscious, allowing them to naturally act according to her arrangements.

But that should be extremely difficult, and very dangerous… Audrey withdrew her gaze and did not rashly attempt it.

She clearly remembered that she had come this time to search for traces of the mind dragons and the City of Miracles, Liveseyd.

Audrey passed by dozens, perhaps more than a hundred, other people’s consciousnesses, and gradually began feeling tired.

“It is time to go back.” She instinctively lifted her head, gazed into the distance, and made a rational decision.

She stood there for a long time, unwilling to leave.

Just as Audrey was about to turn around, a shadow suddenly appeared in midair.

It was a pair of enormous, grayish wings!

Beneath the wings was a long-bodied, lizard-like monster.

Its entire body was covered in large scales like gray-white stone. It had four thick, powerful legs, and seemed to be bathing in sunlight that did not exist, flashing with a radiance like the afterglow of sunset.

The monster flew past. Its eyes were pale gold, its pupils vertical, cold and proud.

Its grand, epic-like figure swiftly moved farther away, vanishing into the sea of subconsciousness belonging to all living beings.

A dragon… A mind dragon! Audrey hopped in place, then immediately looked left and right, afraid that someone had seen her inelegant, improper behavior.

She paced excitedly and turned a full circle, extremely satisfied with this adventure.

As expected, the local dragon-worship customs here did not come from nowhere. Within their sea of subconsciousness lives a mind dragon… Audrey restrained the urge to praise herself and decided to return at once and awaken from the dream.

She had no urge to continue exploring, because she had made no preparations in that regard at all. She planned to consult Mr. Fool, Mr. Hanged Man, and the others at next week’s Tarot Gathering, hoping to obtain some suggestions.

Audrey returned along the original path and entered the “mountain” formed by her own consciousness. Then she awakened herself and successfully broke free from the dream.

…

At that moment, Danitz was finally allowed back into the room.

He glanced at Gehrman Sparrow and smiled awkwardly.

“You definitely will not tell anyone about what you saw just now, right?”