Chapter 34: The Gods’ “Anchors”

Chapter 34: The Gods’ “Anchors”

Knowing that any diary page carefully selected by the Queen of Mysteries was bound to contain highly important information, the Fool, Klein, focused his mind and, with an air of casual indifference, turned his gaze toward the yellow-brown parchment in his hands.

“September 11th. Ever since becoming an angel, I have felt as though my personality were splitting apart. In my heart, within my spirit, and in the depths of my mind, there has always been a voice urging me, influencing me, creating a coldness, bloodlust, cruelty, and madness that are difficult to control.

“This does not come from the outside world, nor is it the influence of a deity upon those of Their own pathway. I can clearly sense that it originates from genes, from the collective subconscious inherited by humanity generation after generation, from the Beyonder characteristic itself—not from residual mental imprints left upon it.

“It gives me an intense desire to hunt and kill. I want to devour every living being around me that possesses Beyonder characteristics. This forces me to spend the overwhelming majority of my energy resisting it. Even though I am already acting and digesting the potion, there has been no improvement.

“No wonder Mr. Door said that rationality is temporary, while madness is eternal.”

“September 28th. I have not written in my diary for a long time. Over the past half month or so, it felt as if I were watching myself be replaced by a stranger bit by bit, becoming cold and terrifying one inch at a time. Even my daughter Bernadette could only awaken in me a tiny amount of fatherly love—very, very little.

“Just as I was about to go mad, I seemed to hear countless praises. They came from my subjects; from all those who benefited through my reforms; from those believers who regarded me as the Son of Steam. They were praising me, singing of me, erecting statues of me, writing stories about me, and creating poems for me.

“Their voices were like a ship’s anchor, helping me ‘locate’ myself.

“I began to gain the ability to resist that craving, to fight against the cry that came from the depths of my heart. Little by little, I walked out of it, and once more possessed the normal emotions of a father, a husband, and a man.

“If this kind of change already exists at Sequence 2 alone, then at Sequence 0, at the level of a true god, how terrifying must the madness that must be resisted become?

“Perhaps They, too, require ‘positioning’ to resist the intense tendency toward loss of control hidden within Beyonder characteristics and the depths of the collective subconscious.

“I think I somewhat understand why They establish Churches, why They spread faith, why They have chapters written for the Saints of Their own forces and leave legends behind for the corresponding angels…

“But why do They have no human forms, only symbolic representations?

“I cannot understand it.

“I’ll ask Mr. Door next time. He knows a great deal in the domain of gods. If He had not been exiled, perhaps there would have been one more deity.”

“September 29th. Rereading yesterday’s diary, I remembered the rituals corresponding to my Sequence 4, Sequence 3, and Sequence 2. All of them clearly carried a mad and cruel meaning, the kind only a villain in a novel would conduct.

“The Sequence pathways may very well be roads destined for madness and despair.

“And yet they are also the only roads by which humanity can obtain extraordinary power.

“How laughable. How ironic.

“We struggle to save ourselves only so that we may destroy ourselves more completely?”

The content of the first diary page left Klein heavy and depressed. Roselle, who had written those words, was no longer an ordinary person. He had already become an angel, joined the Twilight Hermit Order, seen the second Blasphemy Slate, and understood far more about the mysterious world and Beyonder characteristics than Klein currently did. Yet he was even more pessimistic than Klein, seemingly believing that this world was twisted and mad at its source, at its very essence, and destined to destroy itself.

However, the seven gods seem to have found a way to maintain rationality. Ordinary humans are not entirely useless. Their cognition and spirituality, gathered together, may help deities “locate” Their original images and retain the memories and reason accumulated over past years… This can be inferred from Roselle’s personal experience… But why did the seven gods abandon Their original human forms and instead use symbolic and abstract Sacred Emblems? That does not quite fit my judgment… I cannot understand it…

Not wasting time, Klein turned to the next diary page.

“December 5th. Night of the blood moon. Conversation with Mr. Door.

“He was the same as always. Every time, He would make a request that I help Him return to the real world, but He would never insist too much. He would also randomly answer some of my questions.

“Heh, He is like someone playing a game, working hard to increase favorability. Unfortunately, I already locked that option in advance.

“Since I already know the legends of the Kings of Angels, I asked Mr. Door about them with the mindset that asking would cost me nothing. My main focus was on exactly what level their strength had reached.

“Mr. Door said that some Kings of Angels had accommodated the Uniqueness, some had consumed two Sequence 1 potions, and some had both.

“The word ‘accommodated’ was used strangely, and I raised my doubts about it. Mr. Door did not answer directly. He only told me that if one has no way to ‘accommodate’ the Uniqueness, then before performing the ritual and advancing to Sequence 0, the Uniqueness is a burden rather than an aid to a Sequence 1 angel.

“Mm, I can understand that. It is like using a Grade 0 Sealed Artifact. The negative effects are always terrifyingly great, and the Uniqueness must certainly be even more exaggerated.

“I then asked which Kings of Angels had ‘accommodated’ the Uniqueness. Mr. Door still did not answer directly. He merely said that Amon and Adam make all angels feel heartfelt envy, because They were born with Uniquenesses and did not need to consider the problem of ‘accommodation.’ From another perspective, does that mean Amon and Adam themselves are equivalent to Uniquenesses that have consumed Sequence 1 potions? As expected of the Creator’s sons!

“That Creator, also known as the ancient Sun God, was actually powerful to such an extent that He could pass down to His two children one Uniqueness and one Sequence 1 Beyonder characteristic each… Was He purifying Himself, removing unnecessary interference?

“Then, has Mr. Door also ‘accommodated’ a Uniqueness, perhaps even consumed two Sequence 1 potions? I did not ask, because I knew He definitely would not answer.

“During the exchange, Mr. Door reminded me not to directly speak Adam’s full name, or I would be noticed, and the conversation just now would be discovered.

“I roughly understood the reason and laughed as I asked Him: hadn’t He Himself spoken Adam’s full name just now?

“Mr. Door replied that it did not matter. The Apprentice pathway’s Sequence 4 is called Secrets Sorcerer and carries a certain meaning of keeping secrets. Although it is inferior to the Servant of Concealment of the Evernight pathway, it is still enough for an existence of His level to block perception.

“I asked many more questions about gods, but Mr. Door gave no answers. He only said that once I had the ability and opportunity, I should take a look above the moon. Then I would understand many things.

“This matches some of my earlier ideas, but I suspect He is tempting me to go there and wants to use that opportunity to return to the real world. After all, every time He appears, it is connected to the moon!”

Whenever Mr. Door appears, there really is a tremendous amount of information. He always fills an entire page… Mm, his explanation of the strength levels of the Kings of Angels matches my conjectures very well…

In the broad sense, a King of Angels refers to a quasi-god who has surpassed Sequence 1 through various means, yet has not reached Sequence 0. This includes accommodating a Uniqueness and consuming an additional Sequence 1 potion. In the narrow sense, it refers specifically to the eight kings who governed all angels under the Creator worshiped by the City of Silver—the ancient Sun God. Of course, They also undoubtedly meet the broader standard…

Several thoughts flashed quickly through Klein’s mind.

As for Roselle’s conjecture regarding the ancient Sun God, Klein deeply agreed. He believed that this Creator worshiped by the City of Silver had “reclaimed” too many ancient god authorities, causing confusion and signs of madness. Thus, He decisively had two children, using this to eliminate part of the “miscellaneous matter.”

Simply put, Amon and Adam were free gifts that came with drinking potions…

From this perspective, the Visionary Angel Adam clearly possesses the Uniqueness of the Spectator pathway. He should be the mysterious leader of the Twilight Hermit Order, the one who has interfered with the changes of the era from ancient times until now in order to resurrect His father… I wonder if He has advanced to Sequence 0… Even if He has not, the number of angels the Twilight Hermit Order can mobilize likely exceeds my imagination…

Mm, Secrets Sorcerer actually has the meaning of keeping secrets, a sense of secrecy…

Klein suddenly thought of the symbol behind the Fool’s chair:

The Pupil-less Eye, which partially symbolized secrecy, and the Twisted Lines, which partially represented change.

He quickly withdrew his thoughts and turned to the third diary page.

“November 28th. I dreamed of Green again.

“He was the cleverest among my subordinates. Unfortunately, while exploring that unnamed island, he suffered an unknown infection and died in the Fog Sea. He did not even leave behind children.

“At the time, I already knew that the unnamed island hid secrets and unimaginable dangers. But my own level and strength were insufficient, and I could only force myself to endure.

“This dream should be my spirituality reminding me that I can go explore that island now, grasp its secrets, and bring Green’s matter to a complete end.”

“November 29th. I summoned three subordinates. With Benjamin Abraham’s help, and after searching for some time, we finally found that unnamed island again.

“We did not enter directly. We decided to first rest for a day at the edge.

“Edwards said that he also often dreamed of Green, and that he felt deep guilt over being unable to save him back then.

“‘This is not your responsibility. It was my problem,’ I said to Edwards, because I was their leader.”

“November 30th. We went deep into the island.

“This place is home to large numbers of Beyonder creatures that are said to have gone extinct. They gather together without fighting one another, as if worshiping something…

“A group of Beyonder creatures with little intelligence seems to be holding some kind of ritual!

“Are they praying to an unknown deity?

“Within the ritual, I saw Green…”